Thailand, the city of conniving tuk-tuk drivers

As some of you may already know, I'm in Thailand now... with my parents... sharing the same room... the drama.

First there was the plane. Tiger Airways. Let's just say at one point of the flight, images from the pilot episode of LOST flashed passed my eyes (not to mention someone's badly fitted toupee).

It was not funny.

"Doo doo du... why is this guy reclining his seat in a budget flight... doo doo du... hmm, how odd... he has a toupee and dandruff... doo doo du... and male patterned baldness... and an impacted wisdom tooth too... ooh... what are these... free peanuts? Oh wait budget... there be no free peanuts on budget flights... (rumble rumble, swoosh, plummet plummet) FUCK! What was that!?! ARGH!!! Are the wings still there? Why is this guy's head in my crotch? Why is my seat so damp?"

You know, the engines are one of those things that budget airlines just shouldn't scrimp on. And pilots. I mean, I do understand that he was the "Star Bus Captain of the Month" 8 times in a row and all, but even then.

The next noteworthy event had to be our first supper. I must admit that I had been forewarned by several friends. Yet, when my dad decided to go with some taxi to some 'cheap cheap' seafood restaurant, I said nothing. Well unless the Thais here routinely have SGD $200+ seafood meals, our meal would hardly qualify as 'cheap cheap'. 'Cheap cheap' to monkeys earning 'peanuts' perhaps, but not to us.


Following the slight-fucking-turbulence and after the man in front finally relinquished his unceremonious occupation of my lap. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the safety-vest blowing segment of the entertainment just now... hmm so what does that red handle do...


Curious Timmy: "Why is nice lady strapping me to her lappy?? Why is nice lady having big big flashlight in her pocket??"


My hotel, and the proverbial 'nicer hotel' just beside.


Minutes before this plate would be filled with seafood costing upwards of SGD$200. At least the food was palatable. But in between swatting mosquitoes, the SGD$200 really went down hard, almost like swallowing mouthfuls of 'peanuts'.


Imagine the insightful political tête-à-tête you will have.


What an odd question to ask. Should be: Would you like to have a smaller one? To which the reply should be patently: No, thank you please.

But then her arm is probably too short for all that. Perhaps the question should be: Want longer one? Now that's a pertinent question.